People around you make you depressed. There are thousands of people who take antidepressants. And think about the number of divorce cases arising out of unhappy marriages. Most of the people are unhappy because they have not attained what they want. Material wealth, awards, high positions they all bring you transitory happiness.

Some tips to give you a dose of happiness
First and foremost, prepare your mind and body to enjoy the ‘JOY’ of happiness. Happiness is the ‘nectar’ desired by all but found by some and enjoyed by very few. Those people who are grumbling all the time hardly notice the presence of ‘happy moments’ in their lives. These people have such slippery souls that the ahaat of good moments just slip away unnoticed.

Here’s what you should do:

• Love yourself: Happiness is inside you, so if you have low self-esteem it is hard to feel happy. You can’t have a meaningful relationship with others if you are not happy with your own self.
• Find a purpose: You need to find a purpose, for which you live for. When you have a purpose, life is more meaningful.
• Learn to let go: In order to be happy you must let go of your negative thoughts and beliefs. Letting go of previous hurts; letting go of things which are beyond your control;
  letting go of your negative emotions and letting go of your attachment to your desires.
• Live in the moment: Today is what matters. Always say to yourself, “Just for today I will be happy.” Do whatever you are doing right now, as if it was the most important task in the world. You don’t worry about the future, neither you do complain about what is past. You see things as they are. The most important moment is the here and now.
• Smile often: Laugh wholeheartedly. Remind yourself to put on a smile every day by choosing to think happy thoughts.
• Connect with happy people: Mix and mingle with happy people. Negativity attracts negativity, while happiness will attract happiness. Reduce interactions with friends who think negatively.
• Always be looking up: Happy people never buckle under pressure. Adversities make them stronger. “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, an opportunist sees the opportunity in every difficulty,” Winston Churchill said.
• Take responsibility: Donʼt allow others to take decisions for you. Take responsibility by seeking information on how best you can make a decision for yourself.
• Serve others: You must give in order to receive. We are all here to serve others. It is a universal law in the flow of energy. Energy needs to circulate. To allow more happiness
  in, send more happiness out.

Happiness is not something owed to anybody in the world. Nobody is handed joy on a platter. Instead, you make your own happiness. Happiness is an attitude. It is habit gained from daily experience.  The only way to happiness is to keep your heart free from hate and mind from worry. Expect little from others, give much to the world and live simply. Fill your life with affection, love and good words.

as published in womens era magazine
image credit – http://www.theminimalists.com/

Feeling happy? Don’t be too smug as chances are that you will die young, scientists say.
An international team, which looked at several studies to find out if happiness has also a dark side, discovered that people who are too full of joy die younger than their more downbeat peers.

They found that children who are rated “highly cheerful” at school went onto die younger than their more reserved class mates, according to news reported.

This is because they are likely to lead more carefree lives full of danger and unhealthy lifestyle choices, believe the researchers.

They may also be more likely to suffer from mental problems such as bipolar depression which sees moods swing from extreme happiness to debilitating sadness, they said.

Being too cheerful-especially at inappropriate times-can also rouse anger in others, increasing the risk of a person coming to harm, they pointed out. The study by a variety of universities analysed the details of children from the 1920s to old age. The researchers found people whose school reports rated them “highly cheerful” died younger than their more reserved classmates.

They also discovered that trying too hard to be happy often ended up leaving people feeling more depressed than before, as putting an effort into improving their mood often left people feeling cheated. Magazine articles offering tips on how to be happy were also blamed for worsening modern day depression.

One study saw participants asked to read an article offering ways to improve your mood, and follow one of the tips to see how effective it was. Participants then took the advice offered-such as watching an upbeat filmoften concentrated too hard on trying to improve their mood rather than letting it lift naturally.

One of the things that I strongly believe is, in order to understand the world better I must first understand myself. There are a lot of times when I have questioned myself as to why I am certain things and why I am not doing others. It is easy for me to ignore all these and just shrug my shoulders and say  “this is what I am” – an unstable brat who does not know what he is doing.

The fact is whatever I have done so far is not out of instinct or out of arrogance (whatever you want to call it). Any thing I have done is only after thinking about it and only, I repeat, only when my heart says yes to it.

Human mind is like a monkey. It can jump anytime, anywhere without any control. That’s why I do not trust my mind and instead trust what my heart says . It might sound a bit strange, but the fact is the shortest way to happiness is doing what your heart wants you to do rather than allowing the mind.

Generally speaking, for most people it will make much more sense to lead from their mind in their business lives. This is primarily because the priorities of most businesses (maximizing profits, niche marketing, strategic planning, etc.) are best accomplished from strategies that are developed from your mind.

On the other hand, leading from your heart will make your life more peaceful and fulfilling. Generally speaking, it is the superior choice for your personal life if things like peace, purpose, fulfillment, and inspiration are important to you.

Money is required to lead a life. But so far I have never run behind it nor allowed it take “control” of my life. What I have is sufficient for my life style. Once I let my mind take control, sadly everything else takes a back seat – relationships, health, social life etc.. etc… I get turned into a machine out to achieve a certain goal and it means losing a lot of other things. In my quest to earn more and more, I would simply forget to live and repent for it at a later point in life when it is of no use trying to live again.

The great thing about listening to my heart is I never have to fight my emotions. Instead I embrace the very emotions that define me as an individual. If something feels right, I go ahead and do it else I do not . In this way, there is no second thought on what I have done is right or wrong, simply because my heart knows what is right for me in any moment based on my emotional needs, body needs etc…  Ofcourse, this means I live a simple life where happiness, peace and love means a lot to me than money. If you have not figured it out, I listen to my heart  .

Ofcourse there are times when the heart is wrong and the mind is right. But ultimately it all boils down to one single thing – when to listen to the heart and when to listen to the mind. Once you figure this out, life will be very simple.

When I started to write this one, I remembered this story of “The Businessman and the Fisherman”.

What do you really hope to achieve in life? Read this story and you may find what you are always hoping to achieve, you may be already having it.

There was once an American businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Mexican village. As he sat, he saw a Mexican fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore and noticed that the fisherman has caught quite a number of big fishes that is known to be a delicacy. The American was really impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fishes?”

The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”

“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and you could catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.

The fisherman simply does not agree. “This is enough to feed my whole family,” he says.

The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day then?”

The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fishes, then I would go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I will take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I will join my buddies in the village for a drink, we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night. My days are ever so complete and carefree.”

The businessman does not agree with his way of life and offered a suggestion to the fisherman.

“I am a PhD holder graduated from Harvard University, specializing in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you have to spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fishes as possible. And when you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fishes. As you go on, you will be able to afford to buy more boats, recruit more fishermen and lead a team of your own. Soon you will be able to set up your own company, your very own production plant for canned food and do direct selling to your distributors. At that time, you will have moved out of this village and to Mexico City, and then expand your operation to LA, and finally to New York City, where you can set up your HQ to manage all your other branches.”

The fisherman asks, “So, how long would that take?”

The businessman reply, “About 15 to 20 years.”

The fisherman continues, “And after that?”

The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, by then you will be rich, your income will be coming in by the millions!”

The fisherman asks, “And after that?”

The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning and catch a few fishes, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”

The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”

So, what does one really hope to achieve in life? Do we really need to work so hard in life? What do you hope to accomplish in the end?